Podcast: Women Know Best (About Men’s Sexuality)

My work with men is changing — and it’s bringing me into deeper work with women practitioners.
For years, I’ve worked with men around sexuality, sexual dissatisfaction, intimacy, confidence and relationships and Sexual Partner Surrogacy was a part of that work.

Earlier this year, though, my body told me it no longer wanted to do body-to-body work with men. And I had my last body-to-body client in January 2026.

At the same time, I was becoming increasingly aware of some of the darker conversations around men, sexuality and power. It was, in many ways, a dark night of the soul.

What became clear was that the work with men was still desperately needed — but perhaps my role in that work was changing.

I continue to very successfully offer online programmes and coaching for men, around these issues. But I can only help so many.

So now I am focused on teaching other women how to work with men.

There is something powerful about creating a space where men can be seen beyond the performance of masculinity.

Men are given so many ideas about who they should be — confident, successful, dominant, sexually capable. And even the alternatives can become another performance: the conscious man, the emotionally intelligent man, the “nice guy”.

But what happens when we stop performing?

This is where the Wheel of Consent is so important in my work.

Consent starts with ourselves:

Do I actually want this?

Men can become so focused on making sure they aren't crossing someone else's boundaries or performing how they think they should be, that they lose contact with their own desires. I call this self-abandonment.

Personal power is something different. It isn't status or dominance. It is grounded. It is yours.

And women practitioners can play an important role in helping men explore this — creating space for them to be vulnerable, to receive, to discover what they actually want, and to experience relationships differently.

Continuing the Conversation

These are some of the themes Lex Ryder and I explored in our recent conversation on The Kinky Coffee Break.

We talked about men’s sexuality, the pressure to perform masculinity, the manosphere, consent, receiving, personal power — and why I’m now teaching women practitioners to work with men.
If you work with men, or you're curious about what might sit underneath sexual dissatisfaction and masculine performance, I think you'll find the conversation worth listening to.

Find out more about Lex Ryder and their work at www.pleasurerebels.com

I am passionate about helping men and couples discover pleasure as a powerful catalyst for transformational change. Are you ready to join me on this journey? Here’s how…

• Arrange your Complimentary Clarity Call with me here
• Discover innovative one to one Sex Therapy sessions here
• Explore Tantric Pleasure Coaching programmes here
• See forthcoming events and workshops here
• Uncover the art of Erotic Tantric Massage here
• Watch helpful content on my YouTube channel here