And maybe you are already bracing yourself, rolling your eyes like,
“Oh God… what now?”
But honestly…
I celebrate you
And my wish is for you to celebrate yourself.
Truly. Why not?
Pause with me for a second.
See if you can hear this without flinching, deflecting, or cracking a joke to dodge a feeling.
Just stay here with me here.
Because there’s a lot of criticism aimed at men right now.
And sure, some of it’s valid… “the bear or the man, etc etc.”
But if these conversations make you wanna shut down instead of step up, then here’s your loving reminder:
You do not have to carry the weight of every problem in the world.
That’s not your job.
It’s not anyone’s job… unless you’re an elephant.
And if you are an elephant, why are you here?
Go lift a log. Eat a leaf. Do your elephant errands.
(I still love you.)
And there is still the real elephant in the room:
No matter who hurt you, or how early that hurt happened,
you’re a grown-up now.
Which means the responsibility for your healing, your behaviour, and how you show up… is in your hands.
And I know that stings.
But listen:
You can do this.
You are more capable than you imagine.
You can stop pretending you’re “fine” when you’re actually exhausted, overwhelmed, or two breaths from shutting down.
You can move out of the silence, out of the isolation.
Because that old patriarchal version of masculinity? The one that told you to tough it out, shut up, numb out, or carry everything alone? it’s expired.
Let it go.
You don’t owe it any loyalty.
And yes, the challenges men face are real:
mental health, loneliness, body image, disconnection seggsual dysfunction, suicidal thinking, intrusive thoughts, excessive p0rn use
But reliving your existential crisis and retraumatising yourself with past and present challenges isn’t the goal.
Thriving is.
And thriving means moving through the bullsh1t, and the hard feelings,
straight into honesty, vulnerability as a strength, and courage.
No shortcuts, babe.
And it is absolutely doable.
The world needs you to, because you matter.
There is a you-shaped space in this universe that literally no one else can fill.
In my work with men, I see this every day
When you reconnect with the wisdom of your body, your needs, desires and boundaries
you shift.
Despite everything you carry, you become grounded .
You go from confusion to clarity.
From numbness to presence.
From shutdown to the truth of you
And that’s when you stop performing outdated masculinity
passed down to you and surrounding you and you start participating in your life… and flourishing.
So here’s your man-positive homework for International Men’s Day, or for any day you choose:
1. Check in with yourself.
No avoiding.
Ask: “What do I need today to feel safe and nourished?”
And then meet that need.
Not with five hours of faux-connection gaming,
or beer-swilling at the pub,
or fifteen minutes with the corn girls — you know what I mean.
I’m talking real connection:
go outside, breathe actual air, touch some grass, drink some water, touch your body with reverence
do something that your body wants for a change.
2. Reach out to another man.
Try: “Hey, how are you? I love you, man.”
Yes, say it.
Let your voice shake if it needs to.
Then follow the conversation.
Notice how that tiny crack of tenderness opens up something for you both.
3. Stop pretending you don’t need support.
That era is done.
> Support isn’t weakness. It’s grown-up, grounded strength.
> Ask a friend if you can walk next to him in silence for 10 minutes
> Tell someone you trust, “I’m having a human moment,” and let them respond. Truly receive it
> Put a hand on your chest and say to yourself, “Hey buddy, I got you.” (Yes, it feels weird. Do it anyway.)
> Practice asking for tiny things: “Can you hold on a sec?” “Can you listen for a moment?” “Can we slow this down?”
These are mind muscles. And unfamiliar as they are at the start, they get stronger.
4. And if you’re ready to go deeper,
Or want support alongside other men? Then check out The Advantage.
No ego.
No competition.
No posturing.
Just real work, real men, and real growth for your future masculine.
And thriving means moving through the bullsh1t, and the hard feelings,
straight into honesty, vulnerability as a strength, and courage.
Men aren’t the problem.
But that unhealed pain you’re hiding, my lovely?
That’s the problem that's ready to release.
Let yourself become the man you were always meant to be,
before the patriarchy nonsense dimmed your fire.
You deserve better than that.
You deserve to come home to yourself.
I see you.
I believe in you.
And it’s time to step away from the man that the old world expected…